


A picnic in the clouds

by emmywee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Scout Regiment, Short, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29281674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmywee/pseuds/emmywee
Summary: Levi Ackerman has found his soulmate and doesn't quite know what to do about it. Distancing himself is definitely the best option but is that really possible when they keep reeling him towards them?It's a serious dilemmay/n just wants to design some ODM but a certain captain keeps on catching their eye. Why not spend time with him?It's not a problemGender/Feature neutral
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. One

Levi Ackerman has always hated the system of soulmates. Not because he was afraid his soulmate would be a bad person, rather because he was afraid of losing them. His mark haunted him from the day he got it. 

The day he had turned 16, he felt a horrible, stabbing ache on his inner forearm. He checked the painful area to investigate the cause. He saw, written in only what he could describe as messy, beautiful handwriting, a phrase that pained his heart to read. "Levi, it hurts.". 

He covered his arm knowing that the being that would love him unconditionally, for the rest of his existence, would leave before him whilst in pain. He never wanted to see that mark again. 

Sitting in his office, alone, Levi peeked at the mark on his forearm. He would peek from time to time to admire the handwriting. Levi had grown up in the underground city, so he was never formally taught how to read or write. The writing on his arm was definitely not one of a citizen of Wall Sina, but it was quite beautiful.

He loved how I would connect with the T, how the L was slightly crooked, and how the H looked more like an N. His heart would drop every time he would read the full sentence so he admired the letters individually, never reading them in full. He heard the lunch bell, pulling him from his daze. 

Truthfully, he wished to never meet his soulmate. He had been doing perfectly fine without knowing them up to this point, so why did he yearn for them so much? Why did he yearn for a being who probably never even thought twice about him? Why did he yearn for a person that might hate him for his looks or height? Why did he yearn for a person that the universe decided was for him? 

Furlan Church, Isabel Magnolia, Peta Rall, Oruo Bozad, Eld Gin, Gunther Schultz. Kuchel Ackerman. It hurt so much when he had lost them, he didn't know what to do with himself. "Fucking bullshit" he murmured before walking himself to the dining hall


	2. Two

"LLLEEEVIIIIIII" the captain heard his loud friend approach him from down the hall with a dark blonde man following closely behind. "Oi. stop yelling". Levi always thought of Hange as a friend though, he would never admit it.

"What do you want. Your hollering like you have to take a shit." "did you hear about the engineer? Apparently, they're an old friend of Erwin." 'i haven't heard anything about an engineer' he thought to himself. He wasn't surprised that whoever they were, they knew Erwin. Commander Erwin could get whoever he thought fit hired to serve under the military. He had gained the trust of Dhalis Zachary. The man in charge of all three branches of the military. With a simple recommendation from the commander, they could be hired in an instant. 

"What exactly do we need an engineer for?" Levi was genuinely curious as to why they needed an engineer. 'New ODM?' "They're going to develop new ODM gear for us." 'that's what I thought.' although the current ODM gear was very much usable, it wasted too much gas and caused much inconvenience. 

"I believe they are only developing new gear for the survey corps. They don't think the other branches require new ODM." "tch'' is all he responded with before walking off.

Levi had plenty of questions about this new engineer that he refused to ask Hange about. He knew they would get carried away and blabber for at least an hour. So, he decided to go straight to the source.

He waited until dinner to ask Erwin because he didn't have the energy to go anywhere that was not urgent. Levi Ackerman was a sleepless being. Only getting 2 hours of sleep each night did sometimes have negative effects on his everyday life. He would try and try to sleep comfortably but no matter what his body wouldn't allow it. He would never take off his uniform or get in a bed, often falling asleep in his office chair.

Even on those rare occasions where he did properly fall asleep, his slumber was disturbed by blood-curdling screams and glimpses of the dismembered bodies of fallen squadmates.

By the time the bell rang for dinner, he had already completed filling out any necessary paperwork. He walked across the dining hall, his boots clicking on the stone floor with every step. He had reached the table where Erwin sat. He sat down beside him. "The engineer." he was blunt and got straight to the point without any needless words.

"What?" "You heard me." Erwin then realized that that was a question and not a statement. He was used to Levi using small statements to ask a question instead of asking a complete question. "Oh. the new engineer should be starting tomorrow. She's a good friend of mine and an amazing engineer."

After he finished talking Levi excused himself silently and went outside. He stared up at the night sky. The stars were his escape, his safe haven where none of the stress of the titans or anything at all for that matter, could reach him. He remembered staring at the night sky with Isabel and Furlan. Although those memories caused him great pain, they also were the happiest memories he had. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everyone, this is y/n. They will be starting as an engineer today. They'll be working in the corps office above the dining hall. Their office number is 185. Please don't disturb their work" Erwin announced with his booming voice that could be heard for miles if he was really yelling.

Standing in front of the scouts was a person wearing a gray suit that perfectly fit their body shape, pants going down to the ankles where they met black heels. They had on many rings and accessories. The heels of course added to their already impressive height

Beauty was practically emitting from them. The scouts were left in awe at the person in front of them.

One particular scout felt his heart jump at the sight of them. Levi shoved it down and excused it as something random that didn't have anything to do with the person in front of him. They walked through the dining hall and up the stairs to their newly found office.


	3. Three

y/n has been working for the survey corps for a week already. They always hated deadlines. Although they had only just started working, they were already bombarded with an ungodly amount of assignments.

It was a quiet, clear night when she had met Levi Ackerman.

Thoughts and ideas were flowing through their head but being whisked away right when they needed them. Trying to figure out how to preserve gas proved harder than they first anticipated.

They needed a break.

Walking down the long hall of scout regiment offices, that lay atop the dining hall, there was a room still illuminated.

'Who would still be awake so late? ' the time on her watch read 4:27 am. They quietly approached the room and gently pushed the door open. There they found a short man with black hair, asleep on a wooden chair holding a book. 'That looks uncomfortable' they didn't want to disturb him. They closed the door without making any sound.

They walked down the stairs, through the dining hall, and into the kitchen to rummage through any leftovers that may be hiding. 'Nothing' after they had failed to acquire any food they walked back into the dining hall.

As they reached the stairs they saw what she assumed was a girl, sneaking out of the dining hall, holding a mound of bread. They dismissed it and hurried back to her office.

Deciding that it was now time for them to head back to their home, they stuffed their personal belongings into a small purse that they carried and noisily, turned the doorknob that led to the hallway. As they were walking down the long hallway, their curiosity got the best of them.

They decided to open the door to the black-haired man's office. 'He's gone? I guess he probably woke up and went to be-' "AHHHHH!" 

The black-haired man had suddenly opened the door. "I'm very sorry sir." they rushed down the stairs and out of the dining hall. "That scared the shit out of me" they muttered to themselves while walking down the stone steps that led out of the survey corps headquarters.

In the pitch black of night, two people had the same exact thought 'why is my heart pounding so fast?'

'What the fuck were they doing?' Levi thought as he slowly closed his door once again. He heard loud footsteps and wanted to check who it was, but didn't think it would be y/n. He honestly thought it was Sasha trying to find food in one of the higher-up's offices.

"Damn it. I really don't need to be spooked right before I walk alone at night." y/n thought as they walked down the gravel road that led to their home. They kicked the ground before unlocking their door.

***

y/n never cared for soulmates. They decided from the moment the painful mark appeared on her stomach that They would make no effort to find their soulmate. y/n's mark was on Their mid stomach, tilting slightly to the right.

Of all their 29 years of life, they had never even wondered who their soulmate was. Although, they did wonder why the handwriting was constantly changing.

The first 8 years they had their soulmate mark, the handwriting was extremely messy and hard to read. As the years progressed, their soulmate mark got clearer and clearer, and easier to read.

This wasn't a big deal for them because they could always read it. Her soulmate mark wrote "I will. I promise I will wait."

"Wait for what?" they muttered before turning away from the mirror and buttoning up their shirt. They had always wondered exactly what that person, her soulmate, was waiting for. They finished dressing and made Their way to the scout regiment headquarters, saying their hellos to acquaintances. They lifted their wrist and looked down at their watch. 'Shit. I'm late.'

Although this was more convenient for them for two reasons. One is that they had to speak to Erwin about their funds and two, being that they would like to speak to that black-haired man they encountered just two days before and properly apologize. If they arrived late they could scan through the dining hall with everyone in it, making it easier to find their desired targets.

They walked into the buzzing dining hall, drawing a few scout's attention to them. They scanned through each table looking for a rather tall man. 'Found you.' There he was, sitting at the 3 tables on the right side of the dining hall. They approached the man, making his eyes dart towards them

"Hey Blondie." they greeted. "y/n would you please stop calling me that. It's been years." scoffing softly, y/n retorted, "Never." they gave a soft smirk as the commander accepted his defeat.

"Anyway, I came to you today because I need more funding" 

"For what?" he asked

"uhhhhhhhh....."

"So basically you disrupted my breakfast because you need more money?"

"Yep. That's %100 correct" they gave a thumbs up and a toothy grin.

"Fine. Just file for a raise and I'll put it through."

"Thanks again, blonde buffoon," they said smugly while celebrating their successful teasing.

"Y/N!!" is all they heard while scanning the room once again for a certain captain. They spotted the man sitting at the last table on the left side of the dining hall. They approached the man preparing their apology in their head. 

"Um, excuse me," they said as they tapped the man on his shoulder pulling his attention from his breakfast to them. "I'm really sorry about the other day. I saw you sleeping in there earlier and wanted to see if you were still there. I didn't mean to intrude."

The man stared at them giving a rather blank expression, "okay" he responded in a monotone voice, not sounding forgiving in the slightest. "I will be off then" they responded giving the man a gentle smile.

Levi's shoulder burned after they had tapped it. He needed to check something


	4. Four

Levi decided he would investigate the person that made his shoulder burn with their touch. Through their handwriting. It was an obvious indicator of what he needed to know

He knew that handwriting by heart. Well, at least the letters of that dreadful sentence. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was that he thought they, the person he met a week ago, was his soulmate

He needed a plan. Well more like a chance to see their handwriting. 'Their reports' he thought. Looking at their reports would be the easiest way to see their handwriting. The problem was that only the higher-ups were allowed information on the ODM development.

He couldn't walk up to Erwin and ask to see them. He knew Erwin would refuse him.

Although they were friends-which Levi would never admit-Erwin respected the chain of command too much to let him see it. Levi knew this.

'Their office. I can just look in their office. They're bound to have something they've written on there.' 

Although Levi was not keen on discreetly stealing, he did have a lot of experience from his days in the underground city. He had to wait for them to leave. This proved extremely hard.

They were some kind of a workaholic.

They would come to work early in the morning and not leave till the middle of the night. They wouldn't even take weekends. They would just keep this schedule going for a week, and then take a whole week off. It was rather unhealthy.

They finally, finally left. It was about 5:30 am. Scouts were starting to wake up. He walked calmly into her office just down the hall from his and entered. The room was cluttered yet charming. It had many sketches of different versions of ODM plastered on the wall and scattered on the floor. A large sketch of the inner workings of the ODM gas tank was sitting on their desk at the back of the room. There were many different kinds of flowers laid about the room. They were sitting in bowls, cups, and vases. It looked like they stuck them in anything they could find.

There was a sketchbook open on her desk, Levi saw a very realistic rendering of a person. He had no idea exactly who it was but he couldn't deny her skillful drawing. His eyes shined in awe before he remembered the mission at hand. He had to find their writing. 

'Maybe they write in their sketchbook'

He clobbered over to the desk, making sure not to step on any pens or rulers that were on the floor. 

He opened the sketchbook, flipping through pages until his eyes finally stopped on one.

'Fuck.'

There is was.

The handwriting he knew so well was gracefully filling the page. He didnt know what to do.

What exactly do you do when you find your soulmate? How do you tell them?

Levi was a bit scared.

Would he just tell her or should she slowly hint at it? Would they accept him?

'I'm overthinking this arent i" he didn't need to tell them and he wouldn't.

He heard footsteps approaching her door. Not knowing what to do, he quickly closed the book and stood there waiting to see who would walk through her door. 

The door swung open revealing an agitated y/n. 

"Hi" is all he could say 

"Oh. What exactly are you doing in my office?" 

"I was meaning to talk. You weren't here"

"so you continued to just stand there." They were honestly confused.

"yes"

"ok, what did you need to ask me. I'm a bit pissed off right now. I just fell quite badly."

Levi then noticed their bloody elbows and scratched up hands. He felt his heart pang. 

"are you okay?"

They were a bit surprised by this question. Although they had never really had a proper conversation with the captain, they heard he was quite cold and definitely wouldn't ask the question 'are you okay' 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Now, what is it that you wanted to ask me." 

'make up a good lie Levi' he thought.

"I just wanted to ask what color the new ODM would be"

'what a random question'

"Oh yeah. I think I'm going to make it black although I'm not completely sure. I'm still not even close to figuring out how to preserve the gas and make it lighter." 

Although Levi wasn't actually wondering what color the new ODM was going to be, it felt good just talking to them. He now knows it was his soulmate. He walked away silently actually, quite tired.

y/n thought he was a bit strange but they very much enjoyed talking to him. It was easy. Easier than talking to Erwin, who was one of her best friends. 'Guess I will have to talk to him more.' they noted as they began to bandage their wounds. 

***

y/n fell as they were exiting the town market. Some kids were playing in the early morning and bumped into them. They thought it was a quite pathetic fall and wasn't going to admit that was what happened.

They were closer to the headquarters than their own home so naturally, they decided to walk back and patch themselves up in the office. What they didn't expect to find in her office was a man standing completely still.

'Oh this is the chair sleeper guy.' they remembered.

He greeted them with a simple "hi". They didn't exactly care that he was in their office but was curious as to what he needed.

He explained why he was there and silently left.

They quite enjoyed talking to him.

Every time they heard his voice it was like all the weight was taken off their shoulders. They silently patched themselves wondering what made them feel like this.

They knew they were definitely attracted to him but this went beyond attraction. 

'Eh, I'll let it go. He probably already has a soulmate.' they felt a pain in her chest. 

oh. It was one of those. those shitty pains that came with their dysfunctional body.

They mentally screamed.

This pain was unimaginable.

Something that has happened to her since they were young. They said they were too young yet, it still happened. 

Their breathing was ragged.

They just needed to breathe. Yeah, that's what they needed. they've gotten past these before. It's no challenge 

They would get help if they could.

They would scream out if they could.

They knew that if they moved on this state-if they even could-the pain would escalate. 

The pain had gradually thinned out and stopped.

The amount of relief they felt at that moment was immense. They grabbed her bag and headed back to their home.

They could deal with it on her own by now, but that didn't take away the pain. 

'I'm not going to move out of my bed today.' is all they thought before unlocking their door and immediately throwing themselves on their bed. "What a weird day. I had another episode and I talked to that guy. Oh yeah, I forgot his name. What was it....?"

They racked their brain as hard as they could. They heard this name all around. "Come on everyone talks about this dude so why is his name so goddamn hard to remember? Ugh, my brain can't take this right now." with that, they fell peacefully asleep not caring to take off their clothes from the day.

~~~~~~

y/n had just finished explaining how hot Erwin would look in black and that's why she wanted to make the uniforms that color 

"You are truly confusing." Erin rubbed his temples.

"Fuck off. Go back to planning a mass suicide or whatever the hell they pay you to do"

Erwin scoffed and a slight smile crept up on both of their faces. 

Both he and y/n were convinced they were platonic soulmates. Even if they didn't have a few words on their body to prove it, who cares! They definitely loved each other in a bromance sort of way. 

The truth is, Erwin's whole soulmate situation was a bit confusing.

His soulmate's name is Marie Dok, wife of Nile Dok.

Marie has two soulmates. Erwin and Nile. 

Erwin and Marie were together first but ultimately, she gave her up because he knew his occupation was going to get him killed.

It pained him to let her go but he knew she would be happier with Nile

y/n pitied him of course but was always there to cheer him up and tell him that he didn't need his soulmate to be happy.

They believed this more than anything. They never wanted one and never needed one. They could live by themselves.

~~They didnt need them~~

y/n walked out of Erwin's office back to theirs to escape any longer scolding about the outfit choice.

Erwin and y/n had an unbreakable bond that all started with a **revolting** offense 


	5. Five

Erwin smith will never forget when he met y/n.

He was passing through the busy night streets of Wall Rose running some errands for his adoptive parents. He heard muffled screaming coming from an alley next to a bar. He felt the need to investigate the source knowing, someone was in trouble.

He was faced with a horrifying scene. A young person, younger than him, tied up with at least 6 men surrounding. The men were undressing them as they screamed and kicked trying to escape their grasp. Erwin was absolutely revolted at the sight. He didn't know what to do. He definitely wasn't strong enough to fight them off but he needed to get them away. NOW.

He cleared his throat and spoke up. "If you do not get away from them right this instant I will summon the authorities. I've gotten a rather good look at your faces and it's obvious that you are drunk. I would gladly ask the bartender for an-"

before he could finish his sentence the men fled the ally.

He approached the person, hearing them sob, and quickly shuffle away.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you in promise."

the boy said with the kindest smile he could pull off. It was hard to smile. Seeing someone so scared and frightened got to him. He brought his hand closer to their head and they flinched away.

"You look pretty cut up there," he said as they were slowly unbinding their wrists. "I can bring you to my house. You need bandages. I promise no one's home." he once again gave a warm smile.

"You promise?" a small, gentle, strained voice spoke

"I promise."

They really needed bandages. There were ligature marks from their bonded wrists, their head was bleeding just under their hairline, their knees and elbows were scraped, their clothes had dirt on them from being on the ground, and their thighs had bleeding nail marks on them.

"What's your name?" they said, taking short breaths between their words.

"I'm Erwin. What's yours?" they looked hesitant but finally answered "I'm y/n"

"Well, y/n, let's get to my house and we can fix you up." "Okay," they hesitantly followed behind him, gripping the hem of his shirt. It was a long walk to Erwin's house, but the view was rather enjoyable. Erwin lived atop a hill that surrounded the water canal. The house was slanted, but it was spacious; the perfect place for housing children. Erwin was currently the only child residing in the home. All his other adoptive brothers and sisters had moved out and started to work. Of course, he felt left behind but this meant he often got the house to himself.

Mostly at night. When his adoptive parents would go into the fields to harvest fruit that they would then sell in the early morning market. When they arrived at the slanted house, Erwin inserted his house key and unlocked the door. They followed obediently behind him as he entered the house and led them up the stairs to his room. They sat on the floor. He quickly pulled bandages out of one of his desk drawers, nodding to them, silently asking if he could proceed. They nodded back, eyes fixated on his window. He grabbed their arm, making them flinch, wiped the wounds with a damp cloth, and cleaned the blood.

It took about half an hour but he was finally done bandaging. They sat there silent, not daring to move for the fear of angering the boy. "Do you need to go home?" he asked "I don't wanna," they said very, very lightly. "Then do you want to stay with me?" "ok" is all they could say.

They didn't want to anger the boy like they angered their mother. They knew they were stronger than their mother. Their build was sturdy despite being so young and they were trained every day. Even though they could easily take down her mother, they didn't want to. Their mother was kind and gentle, saving her from her father's intense training half of the time, but the other half was what they were afraid of. It's like she became a different person, hitting y/n and yelling. Endorsing the training that was not suitable for their growing body.

For the next couple of days, y/n spent their time hiding in Erwin's room, not making even a squeak. They ate the food he offered them and silently thanked him. They thought the boy was too reckless and kind for his own good.

When y/n returned home they were greeted by a nice mother. They had already separated the woman into two people, nice mom and mean mom. Being able to identify which one it was quickly, they would be able to perfectly calculate their actions to result in the best outcome.

"OH GOD. where were you y/n I was so, so worried," she said, holding her child tightly and closely. "I'm alright mom. I was just visiting a friend" they said knowing that right now her mother would be forgiving. "Oh, y/n you have to tell mamma when you go visit friends or mamma will be worried. Okay?" her voice was gentle and kind, immediately calming y/n.

"Okay, mom." her mother smiled kindly. "Now get to bed. You need rest from all that playing with your friends." in reality, they did not play at all. Just sat in the corner of a kind boy's room after going through something traumatizing. y/n nodded their head running up the stairs. Her house was large and lavish. It stood in Wall Sina.

They would often make a journey to Wall Rose to meet her 'friends'. They were really just walking the streets of Wall Rose looking for insects.

For the next couple of days, there was no training. Her father was out of the house. Did they know where? No.

They decided she wanted to visit that boy again. Telling their mother that she was going to visit their friend-this time they technically weren't lying-they made her way to Wall Rose and his home, stopping to admire worms. they knocked on the door, and Erwin answered, looking shocked to see them. He let her in silently, and then she started talking about her mother. How she had multiple personalities.

He just stood there listening. They talked until it got late and They had to go home.

This pattern went on and on for years, they would say they were going to visit her friend's house after training, go to Erwin's and just talk.

It was a good way to cool down after the tiring training. Her father never explained what the training was for, other than she needed to fill out some kind of prophecy.

This ultimately resulted in them being the best of friends, knowing everything about each other. He knew about those pains too.

Eventually learning not to leave them when they had them.

When Erwin decided to join the military they were fond of the idea, convincing her father to let them attend. He agreed, of course, saying it was good training.

Erwin met his soulmate there and that whole situation played out.

Once the three years had passed and they were graduating, they decided not to officially enter the military, instead, they entered school again and studied as an engineer. They were no longer under their father's control.

As top of the class academically, everyone was baffled but respected her decision. They knew they would roast them if they didn't let them go.

literally

And that's what led them to what they are doing now, arguing with Erwin about how hot he would look in black.

Amazing outcome. Right?

They didn't mind it though. It was fun.

***

Anniversaries were something Levi didn't like. They were a constant reminder of what happened in the past; A constant pick at a healing scab. Today, the scab broke and bled out.

Blood, flowing down his arms and onto the floor, filling his office. Drawing him in and sucking him dry of any light that previously existed.

The scab that decided to break was placed on his inner forearm. It housed 3 words and had only been there since he was 16.

This scab would never scar. It would never heal. Wouldn't just go away when he wanted it to.

He knew that this scab would only go away after he experienced the greatest pain of his life. Whether he wanted to or not, it would be inevitable.

He read them as if they were saying them. As if his soulmate was saying them. As if y/n was saying them. That is what broke the scab.

In all honesty, after he found out his soulmate was y/n he completely forgot about the phrase. He just dwelled on the fact that he had finally met his soulmate, whether it was intentional or not.

It was a hot day at the scout's headquarters. So hot that duties were dismissed. Every single scout locked themselves in their room and laid on the ground lazily, half-naked.

Including Levi

He sat in his office chair for a good hour without his shirt on before he saw it. Of course, it wasn't a big surprise that it was there but he had simply forgotten about it completely. His mind was clouded with the bliss of finding his soulmate to the point that he forgot about the pain that would surely follow. it was a natural reaction to be happy, not a reaction that he wanted.

His eyes displayed pain while reading the words. Levi never cried. He hasn't cried for nearly 5 years, Blue steel eyes only displaying pain where it was necessary.

Crying was like a drug, once you start it's very hard to stop. He had to keep his ice-cold persona, never showing weakness in any way.

He's ruled out laughing, crying. Smiling, frowning, slight inclines and declines in the highness of his voice, and many, many, more.

Completely monotone at all times.

It was like he could smell his own sorrow in that room. He had to escape the stench of pain. Quickly pulling his shirt back on, cruelly sticking to the sweat all over his body.

Walking down the stairs to the dining hall, there was a tall person he had identified as y/n.

Their head was stuffed into some kind of notebook they were quickly jotting down equations on. They were harshly gripping the hair near their scalp as they mumbled to themselves.  
Whatever the hell they were saying, Levi didnt understand a single blabber of it.

He could smell that stench coming off him again.

He quickly walked past them, not even drawing their attention in the empty dining hall. He opened the large door leading to the courtyard. Walking to the other side, he quickly noticed the empty water barrels. Of course, coming out here in the middle of a devilishly hot day would lead to disappointment.

He walked back into the dining hall, finally drawing y/n's attention. They looked as if they remembered something very important and called out to him.

"Hey dude" y/n waved her hand signaling to him

Levi has never been called that in his life.

"What" Levi replied

"I was uhhh wondering if I could maybe..... measure...you?" y/n said looking almost embarrassed as they tilted their head to the side cautiously.

Levi scowled. Honestly not knowing how to respond to that question.

"I need body references for the new ODM. You are kinda the only person around so I thought I just asked you..." y/n said more in a whisper as their sentence ended.

He was silent for a moment before saying "fine do whatever the hell you want."

Meanwhile, y/n made up that lie on the spot without much thinking at all.

Levi's-at the time they could just not seem to remember his name-body definitely wasn't average for a man his age so she would in no way take references from him. If they wanted a reference(which they didn't need) they would take someone with a completely average body. As average as it could get when you are in the survey corps.

Actually, it was just an excuse to talk to him, which they had promised themselves they would do.

they were also a bit curious about what his build looks like.

Okay, maybe they were very curious.

Under his shirt, he looked slender but he couldn't be that slender to be able to carry around 104 pounds of ODM every single day. It was truly a wonder how a man so small could be so powerful. Although, the fact that he was so small made him very agile.

He had to have some muscle on him and y/n really, really wanted to see it.

_The stench grew thicker_


	6. Six

The stench grew unbearably thick, almost clouding my vision. But it seems, I'm the only one to sense it.

y/n's standard procedure for measuring was to leave the clothing on but today, there was an exception. 

After the quite awkward interaction between the two, y/n silently led the captain to her office which was now, notably less cluttered.

The flowers were in more conventional vases lined up on the window sill, ODM sketches were now neatly placed in a pile on her desk with even more sketches scattered around them. There were also additions to her collection, multiple ODM gas tanks sitting on the floor, different colored strips of leather hanging from the walls, different types of buckles scattered just under the leather. 

What seemed to be scrap metal was flaunting its sharp edges straight into the air from her floor.

Levi thought this was a major hazard and should be picked up immediately, but she looked as if she could navigate across the room quite easily without permanently damaging her foot, so he kept his mouth shut.

After rummaging through her desk drawer for a few moments, she pulled out a measuring tape. Levi was now standing in the middle of the room awkwardly waiting for institutions.

"I'm sorry but could you take off your shirt, please?" y/n began, ending the silence 

He quietly clicked his tongue before slowly peeling away the sweaty fabric.

y/n thought that it was a bit overkill when he clicked his tongue before almost every sentence and sometimes used it as a complete response.

y/n was standing there, measuring tape in hand, patiently waiting to see what lied underneath his shirt. 

Would there be scars? 

Did he have a weird birthmark?

Too many strange questions reeled in y/n's mind before the answer was revealed.

Soft, sturdy muscles that complimented his figure perfectly. He wasn't too buff but he wasn't too thin either. 

He was perfect

His chest was polluted with ODM marks and an occasional scratch or two.

y/n noticed he had a bandage wrapping his forearm.

"Did you hurt your arm?"

"No"

***

y/n's heart ached at the sight of the bandage. No, literally. It felt like someone was stabbing them. They weren't those pains that naturally came once in a while. They didn't hurt like this. It was a different kind of hurt. Not as pungent as those but still awfully painful. The discomfort displayed on y/n's face and the Captain most definitely noticed. Levi clenched his fists so hard, his knuckles were white and the skin on his palm was breaking.

He couldn't show concern. He couldn't care for them. They would better off without his concern. Without him.

He knew it was true. He was problematic. As long as he was around people died.

He knew that his hands were drenched in blood. Even if you ignored the blood currently blistering from his palms, caused by his nails digging in, his hands were drenched in blood. Everyone could see it. 

He was a human curse. 

At least that's what he believed.

So, he kept to himself. No pain. No emotion.

Blank.

Staring into the wall as she measured him as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Although, he did notice the puzzled expression on y/n's face

He slowly tilted his head towards them. They looked like they've seen a ghost.

y/n was worried for the man. Their pure adornment of him blinded them from the obvious.

He was thin.

Really, really thin.

The amount of muscle he had was not subsequent to the amount of well, actual fat he had on him. It wasn't just lean. 

No, no this was thin.

He always seemed tired to y/n like he hadn't slept in years but they never thought he would be this unhealthy.

He wasn't eating enough. They knew that but, just how? How did he not break yet?

Terror and grief flashed y/n's face. Genuine fear for him.

Do they smell it?

They had to get him to eat. Even if it was just a little.

"Have you ever had pasta, Captain?"

Levi thought for a moment. No, no he had not. He wasn't able to afford expensive ingredients and it's not like he knew how to cook. He tried his best to not stutter out the next sentence.

"No. Sounds like shit," Levi said, blunt as always.

y/n knew for a fact that pasta was NOT shit. The goddamn carbs. That shit was like drugs to them.

"Well, you will never know if you don't try it." accused y/n.

And so, it began. 

***


	7. Chapter 7

Scout regiment cooks were a bit...protective of their food. They swore there was some kind of red-eyed monster disguised as a girl coming into the pantry at night and eating everything. So, when y/n and Levi approached them, they immediately turned them out saying they didn't have any ingredients to spare.

So, y/n decided to spare some of the money they had accumulated and invested in fresh ingredients. Going to the market with Levi was…an experience.

The crowd was bustling around them sneaking whispers of how short he was and who exactly he was with. His death stare was scary even if it wasn’t directed at y/n. One good takeaway from this outing was that almost every vendor gave a discount for the rather tiny man.

y/n humored themselves about how, every so often, they would have to look down to make sure they didn't lose Levi in the market

Levi gently stared at the person every so delicately placing eggs into their basket. No aggressiveness weaved into it at all.

~~ This is love ~~

He burned that thought into ash. He wasn't capable of love. He shouldn't be. Not after everything that had happened. He should be should and monotone just like the outside persona.

Unfortunately, he just couldn't bring himself to feel that way on the inside too. Humans had emotions, unfortunately, few of them were actually controllable. 

Returning back from his trance, followed the person back to H.Q. The walk was uncomfortably silent. Levi had no idea why y/n offered to make him food and quite honestly he didn't want to know. It wasn’t important. 

Once they walked behind the dining hall, they were meant with the kitchen. Levi had never actually been in the kitchen, but it was quite large. 

Two large wood-burning stoves fit compactly into a coroner. The rest of the kitchen was wood counters with pans hanging against the wall. 

The captain leaned against the door frame as he watched y/n unpack ingredients onto the counter. They looked like they knew exactly what they were doing.

They made a circle of flour and cracked an egg directly in the middle. They were about to continue before they froze and looked at Levi. 

y/n spoke up.

“Levi, when was the last time you ate?”

y/n had never used his name. It was always Captain or ‘dude’ for some odd reason. He felt choked up just from that. He felt blood rush to his face.

_ Gross _

“Breakfast obviously.” Tilting his head to the side in an annoyed manner.

y/n looked troubled for a moment. They glanced at their watch and back at him. They blew a little air between their teeth and puffed their cheeks in frustration.

Levi felt a smile creep onto his face at the expression. It was cute. 

_ No, it wasn't. Erase that thought.  _

“Well,” y/n started. “It's 10:00 pm now and they aren't making dinner because of the heat so I guess this will just be a midnight snack or a late-night dinner.”

They continued to crack another egg into the ring of flour. Levi watched carefully. He’s never eaten this before and honestly, it looked interesting. 

After finishing up, a dough had formed. y/n took the dough, rolled it out, folded it, and sliced it. 

Next, she started on a sauce. Levi thought it was a weird cheese-fluid but definitely wasn’t going to protest being served it. It smelled really good.

“Captain, could you make some tea?” y/n asked as they tasted cooked pasta. 

Levi did not respond only following the order and boiling some water and preparing the teapot. Their shoulders were grazing as they stood next to each other at the stoves. y/n muttered that it was perfect and proceeded to pour the sauce into the now dry pasta. They placed some of it into bowls and began to walk out of the kitchen as Levi finished up the tea.

“Let's just eat in my office,” Said y/n “ the dining hall is too lonely.” They gave Levi a chance to gather the tea and the cups before heading into the dining hall and to y/n’s office.

They both sat at either side of her desk and placed the tea as well as the extra pasta onto it. y/n grew a large smile and clapped their hand together. “Okay! Let’s eat”

The moment those noodles hit y/n’s mouth the smile grew even wider.

“Ughh food is literally my reason for living.” 

Levi took a bite of the pasta. It was good. Really good. Although that wasn’t the part he enjoyed the most. He enjoyed watching eat. It wasn’t as aggressive as a certain brown hair girl he knew but they definitely enjoyed eating.

Levi took another bite but slurped it this time. Sauce dripped from his lips down to his chin. y/n immediately took notice of this. 

y/n reached out their hand, ready with a napkin. 

“You've got some sauce on your face there.”

y/n quickly wiped the sauce off his face and examined it further for any more. 

y/n went back to their food and was left Levi stunned. They had just touched him. His skin was burning and his heart was pounding. 

He felt the need to touch y/n again.

This is love 


End file.
